RIP

i remember seeing this special late one night when i was still in middle school. we had HBO back then and i just happened to stumble upon his show. coming from a religious family, questioning God was, of course, taboo. the rest of my family was already sleeping at the time and everything that was coming out of George's mouth was just so unbelievably obscene and taboo that i remember turning the volume down to make sure my mom or dad wouldn't be able to hear it. everything he touched upon was just mind blowing and he did so eloquently. i've never seen or heard comedy done like that. my comedy world which consisted mostly of Fresh Prince was shattered. i wouldn't say that he alone was responsible for my stance on religion nowadays but he definitely helped.

you were always one of my faves. visit me sometime and tell me where ya ended up because uhh... i'll probably end up in the same place.

so cliche...

so i guess i'm on Paxil now. well, not yet. i'm going to start taking it tomorrow. just seems so cliche to me. an artist on anti-depressants. c'mon now...

anyway, hopefully it helps.

doc

pig doc that is

*shrug*


duh na NA na na NA na...

i think i need a therapist

my health problem seems to have come back but every time i get checked out by a doctor, they say everything seems fine. but that's the thing, even though i agree with them (my blood pressure and pulse hover over the normal range and shouldn't be affecting me), there's that nagging feeling in the back of my head that i am not fine at all which i think is contributing to my insomnia. i think i have an anxiety disorder. for the past week, i've been dreading being left alone at our place. there's always these negative thoughts hovering in my head. "what if something happens to me right now?" it's getting so bad that i even usually have the phone close at hand "just in case" i have to call 911. see, even just reading that makes me think how fuckin ridiculous my mind is being. i think i need a therapist.